My Scarlet Letter

 "In a moment, however, wisely judging that one token of her shame would but poorly serve to hide another, she took the baby on her arm, and, with a burning blush, and yet a haughty smile, and a glance that would not be abashed, looked around at her townspeople and neighbors. On the breast of her gown, in fine red cloth, surrounded with an elaborate embroidery and fantastic flourishes of gold thread, appeared the letter A." - The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne

I have spent hours pouring over how I would write this post and what I would say. I will start with the news... 

In just a few months, Lord willing, a beautiful baby boy will be making his debut in this world. He will be a precious gift to his father and I, and the countless others that are looking forward to meeting him. 

My hands shake as I type these words. I know many will be shocked and disappointed. I had always anticipated announcing my first pregnancy in some fun fashion. But then, I never thought this would be my situation. I have known and heard of Christian young women who got pregnant before they were married, but I never imagined that could be me. I was so committed to the Lord, and I knew exactly where I was going in life. 

Or so I thought. 

I have never been so humbled...

The last eight months have easily been the most 'life-filled' months of my life thus far. I have experienced some of my deepest lows, as well as some of my greatest highs. All I can say is I am so thankful that in the valleys, Christ did not forsake me. Even as I sinned against Him, He was tenderly drawing me back to Himself. 

However, unlike some sins, mine is one that can not be easily brushed away and forgotten. I am to carry a 'token of my shame', a 'scarlet letter' as it were. My scarlet letter is not a 'B' for the baby, but an 'A' for the adultery against God before the consecration of marriage was present. 

Yet, by the grace of God, that scarlet letter has been overcome by the blood of Christ, who has the power to cleanse any sin. Our little boy will be born, unmarred by the sin in which he was conceived, and my darling son will not be a cause of shame or guilt for me. He will be a dear blessing, and I am so, so excited to meet him. I can't wait to hold our baby, and tell him how much we love him. Our prayer is that he will grow up to be a courageous young man with a passionate heart for Christ, and that we can share with him the depths of God's grace we have experienced.

So, as I make this announcement, I am sad for the context I must make it in, but I'm free from the burden of the shame, knowing Christ has covered it. I can't wait for the journey ahead. 

The stigma gone, Hester heaved a long, deep sigh, in which the burden of shame and anguish departed from her spirit. O exquisite relief! She had not known the weight, until she felt the freedom!  -The Scarlet Letter, Nathaniel Hawthorne